Funny personal dating ads chronic illness dating

Being the only single on its office, Lance’s co-workers made him a website and huge billboard.

So now, I work for Daddy, and look for jobs in between customers. Thankfully the internet has become the world’s number one resource for job hunting.

It said she was looking for looking for someone who liked mushy food and knew his colours.

Image Source This ad seems completely normal until he mentions his mustache. Maybe he just wants everyone to know upfront that he has facial hair and he’s not afraid to show it! This sounds like a guy I knew (and unfortunately dated) in the 90’s!

Before long I’ll have discarded you on the pavement of life, but until then you’re the perfect complement to a perfect evening. This one, however, is based entirely around the work of Gil Scott-Heron. Possibly the last person you want to be stood next to at a house-party you’ve been dragged along to by a friend who wants to get off with the flatmate of the guy whose birthday it is. My therapist has given me such a good rate I can afford to indulge my bouts of infidelity and still deal elegantly with my guilt. Clingy, over-emotional and socially draining woman, 36. Life is a roller coaster; you’ve just got to ride it, as Ronan Keating once said. Just as chugging on a bottle of White Lightning on a park bench will make you nauseous and diminish the respect of your peers, yet taking just a glass of cold cider on a barmy summer evening will quench your thirst and take you back to heady days frolicking in West Country apple orchards, so it is with this ad. Refreshing in small sips where the delicate nuances of Somerset burst through full and flavoursome, but anything bigger and you’ll end up puking over your own shoes and smelling of wee. List your ten favourite albums…I just want to know if there’s anything worth keeping when we finally break up. I’ve got a mouth on me that can peel paint off walls, but I can always apologize.

Attached but unfaithful London male, 60, seeks female counterpart. You’re a brunette, 6’, long legs, 25-30, intelligent, articulate and drop-dead gorgeous. Your stars for today: A pretty Cancerian, 35, will cook you a lovely meal, caress your hair softly, then squeeze every damn penny from your adulterous bank account before slashing the tyres of your Beamer. My favourite Ben & Jerry’s is Acid-Boiled Bones of Divorce Lawyer. WLTM man to 45 who doesn’t name his genitals after German chancellors.

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To kill time in-between unemployment heart attacks I started poking around in the personal ads. Besides the headlines being some of the funniest things I have ever read.

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